Have you ever been really looking forward to your lunch, carefully packed the night before, only to go to your office fridge and discover someone else had already helped themselves to it?
Who on earth would do such a thing? Well, apparently it turns out quite a lot of us would! and don’t get me started on the office kitchen sink being full of crockery or the bin, full to the brim.
A recent survey, conducted by Security experts ADT, found that significant numbers of office workers have had their lunches and office cutlery stolen.
31% of workers have been left with boiling blood – as opposed to boiling tea – after reporting their favourite work mug had been stolen.
Whilst 29% have been left heartbroken and hungry, on discovering that their lunch had been snatched from the office fridge and the survey concluded that these lunch-hour Artful Dodgers are usually men.
As collated by The Telegraph, here are ten of the funniest passive-aggressive lunch-notes that are sure to put a smile on your face.
1. Dear Fridge Thief, please chop your hands off to save me the trouble. #leavemyfruitalone
2. Good Morning! To whomever has been enjoying my coffee creamer all week… Surprise! You’ve been drinking my breast milk. Hope you’ve enjoyed. Cheers! P.S. It’s organic, so no worries.
3. Whoever stole my sandwich – you are lowlife scum and deserve a swift kick in the pants.
4. (The SAW themed note) To whomever is stealing food from the fridge, Let’s play a game. I have placed a few meals in the fridge for you. They are loaded with laxatives. I am not telling you what they are. If you eat your own food, you will be fine. If you eat what is not yours, you may be in for an unpleasant day. Have fun.
5. Harry Potter and the Refrigerator of Fear
Enter, stranger, but take heed
Of what awaits the sin of greed
For those who take, but do not earn
Must pay most dearly in their turn
So, if you seek beneath our floors
A treasure that was never yours
Thief, you have been warned, beware
Of finding more than treasure there.
6. To whoever steals drinks when they’re on top of the fridge. Not cool, dude. Not cool. (Must be a hipster – he stole drinks before they were cool.)
7. STOP eating my soup! I’m watching you. I mixed a little OxyPowder in my soup today. Care to find out what that is. Try a bit…. (note: Oxy Powder is a form of laxative).
8. Nothing in this box is worth dying for…..
9. A Poem: Sugar is sweet, Sugar is great. I hope your teeth fall out. Much Love. P.S. Seriously, I hope your teeth fall out or you get a mouth full of bad karma or cavities. This betrayal is as bitter as the unsugared coffee I had to drink this morning.
10. To the ignorant person who stole my lunch between yesterday and today: I just wanted to let you know that I have strep throat and you’ll notice that I had partially eaten the food.
Don’t be surprised if you get sick. I’m sure the visit to the doctor will cost more than you would have paid if you bought your lunch as opposed to stealing someone else’s. Also, since you’re such a genius, I just wanted to remind you that what you did is stealing and it would be a shame that you’d lose your job for being a thief. On second thought, it wouldn’t be a shame it would be great.
Have you any office fridge horror stories?, we’d love to hear them, let us know by commenting below.
HR Revolution – www.hrrevolution.co.uk